2002-11-07 - 11:25 p.m.
"remember. if you welcome love into your life, it will find you" Jarboe
Sometimes I just keep wondering how people can be convinced of things, telling me my mistakes without even being able to know them completly if they only judge that by people descriptions....1. when they are mad at me and my own words when I flip out as I feel harassed. At the same time excusing really VIOLENT VERBAL ATTACKS againsed me under the excuse of having been provoked by me not respecting them.
Especially one person did not respect me and my wish to be left alone ( as in not answering my questions on a question and answersite by insulting Remarks) in the first place. So how on earth can I be the person harassing her? That is the most incomprehensible thing I have ever encountered and I am pretty sure some people believe every lie that is told about me but I really can not stand it. It mad eme insomniac first and now I run around all day wanting to cry and having some deep hurt in my stomack.
I've heard Justice doesn't exist.
maybe not.
But because somone misinterprets all and decides I do all the things I do to some people to her too is simple as that some witchhunting like behaviour. And ending up being convinced of it is just pathetic.
I defnetly do not get this part of the e mail I received. What sense does it make to tell me all I say is wrong and I see things wrongly ect? that is a question of who started it first and what gives one person the Right to publish all about another.
And if I send a postcard to people who gave me their adress, who send me things it can not make them scared taht i kenw their adress as they have given it to me.
And REAL FRIENDS stay and try to keep a friendship no matter what.
They are the choosen family ;-)
I have most of my friends now for more than 20 years.
They are a few friends that I do not see anymore but if we meet by chance we have a friendly chat.
and I do wait for a reply usally and answer mail then...but I was mailed on a dailly basis several times a day for a month, so how can I see the buanderies?
anyway this is too late now and all I complain about is that a FRIEND would never invite you and then ask wy you came if you knew the friedn would maybe not be home? Or being angry. I guess a real freid would meet for a cup of tea and explain if that made him or her uncompfortable and why. and how you can do better.
And a real friend would not end up stalking the other but let him/her be happy without him/her.
I think not being able to be a real friend is really one of the most hurting things.
also telling making mistakes deserve all this ( insults, verbal attacks, declaring non existing stalking ect is something I will not get.It is a huge missunderstanding, miss interpreted behaviour +
fight.I sometimes went to far..even often. But with all those attacks I really don't see how I could have stoped without a certain protection from the Groupmoderator and site owner.
If two friends offline get into some misunderstandings , they talk or they fight.
But they do not make a public drama ( both!) and stop talking to each other or if teh do, they do not t alk about each other.
I have no difficulties with that but reading people believe another Person more than me is VERY MUCH HURTING.
Feeling harassed and being REALLY harassed isn't the same. if I cause fear, people should tell and explain what I do wrong, so i
can learn from it.
And let alone somone who needs to tell everybody how nice I am when we are friedns and do the same when he/she is fed up, I can honestly say decent people do noy do that in my opinion. This is defnetly the first time of my life i misjudged and trusted a person I shouldn't have talked to even.
:-(
GOOD NIGHT PS.If this is a harassing entry...I wonder what entries are that not only badmouth me but with links to places where I hang out online and my name and telling to not aproach me as I am so dangerous?
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